author: Jack Deere
translation: Anna Heschele
Knowing and understanding a lot, but despite this, not having real satisfaction or even spirituality is the fate of many people who have long followed Christ, but have not experienced much in life from what they actually believe. Something similar has long been familiar to the minister of the Baptist church and the American professor of theology, Jack Deer. He had his own explanations and justifications for this. But he discovers Jesus for himself as alive and experiences what he had only speculated about and taught from the pulpit all his life.
Jack Deer takes us into a merciless analysis of dry orthodoxy and brings us into the presence of the living God. After reading this article carefully, many believers will see an opportunity to change their lives by praying for it.
One of my most wonderful duties as a professor of theology was lecturing on the Psalter. But as much as I didn’t like the psalms, something in them constantly bothered me: what is the matter, why do the psalmists seek God so eagerly? “As a doe longs for streams of water, so my soul longs for You, God! My soul longs for God…” The psalmists had an irresistible desire to get closer to God – and this bothered me.
I was also troubled by the fact that I, as a Christian, began my life with a premonition of great love. I remembered how, as a new convert, I had stayed up late into the night to be able to commune with God; how I memorized verses from the Bible and meditated on them until three or four in the morning.
No one forced me to do this. I did this because I longed for God. But, being a professor of theology, I was already up past midnight. True, I felt God’s presence in the following years, but I could not say that my soul was “longing” for God. I felt guilty reading such passages and explaining them to students.
I was troubled by the psalms and their emotionality. Not only did they express intense joy at the thought of God, but they urged others to rejoice equally, as if it were the duty of every believer. In addition, the psalmists were capable of a wide range of emotions, and I did not like this feature either. I assumed the expression of emotion during a football game, but in matters of faith it seemed inappropriate.
Explaining the lack of emotionalism in his denomination (community), Clive Lewis says, “We are too concerned with following the rules of good tone.” I felt like it was a bad tone to be emotional in faith. I didn’t like her and I didn’t trust her. People are weak and susceptible to feelings; this does not happen to the strong, I thought. I willingly repeated that I live according to the Word of God, and not according to the impulse of my feelings. I even found some contradiction between the violent expression of feelings and the Word of God.
Psalms did not confirm my opinion about emotionality. Their authors seemed to express their feelings uncontrollably. They were not ashamed of their thirst for God, nor of their deep joy in His presence, nor of their tears for their sin or for God’s distance from them. My peace was disturbed by the fact that my feelings did not correspond to theirs, and I could not find an argument that satisfied me against their experience. Is their experience the norm, and my lack of such experiences is normal?
Argument of lack of thirst for love
To be honest, I must say: my experience differs not only from the psalmist’s experience, but also from the experiences of all the prominent heroes of the Bible. All of them seemed to be burning with a love for God that I had lost.
I had two options: either I should regain my lost thirst for love, or find an explanation for why I lost it. I have adopted a theological system that justifies my lack of such a relationship with God.
Here’s the system in a nutshell: feelings are deceptive, you can’t rely on them. The whole subjective year was to be trusted. The Bible is objective, and it alone is trustworthy. In the Bible, the first commandment is to love God the most; then your neighbor as yourself (Mt. 22:36-40). This love is not about feelings. The basis of this love is in keeping God’s commandments. After all, Jesus Himself made this clear in the Gospel of John. 14:15: “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
This is how I understood it: feelings are not so important as long as we are obedient to the Lord. Right feelings are the result of right actions. In any case, following God’s instructions is the main thing. Since the Bible is an objective document of God’s commandments, it is easy to check whether you follow them and whether you love God. I have preached this system for several years. All these years she kept me captive to a bloodless copy of Christianity and gave me a reason to argue about the lack of thirst for God.
I adapted to a kind of Christianity that radically shared obedience and emotional expression. But obedience without feelings is nothing more than discipline without willpower. This is not love. It is impossible to separate the thirst for love from love and think that it is still about love. True love is expressed in deeds, but also in feelings. The expression of feelings is an integral part of loving God.
The goal of the Christian life is not only external obedience, which is expressed in the observance of God’s laws. The goal is obedience to God from the heart (Rom. 6:17; Eph. 6:6).
No one is obedient to God from the heart unless God’s commandments are written in his heart. This is the great difference between the pious righteous of the Old Testament and the believers of the New. Because we have access to the ministry of the Holy Spirit, He writes the covenants of God in our hearts (Jer. 31:33; Heb. 10:16). We should not be satisfied with outward obedience. We must hate what God hates and love what He loves.
I have in the past defended a system that justified even indifference to God and God’s children. But Jesus says to the Laodiceans: “But if you are lukewarm, and not hot and not cold, then I will spew you out of My mouth.”
In 1746, Jonathan Edwards published a book, the main idea of which was the following: “True faith must consist for the most part in the movements of the senses.” Edwards saw one of the main works of Satan in the fact that he “… creates the conviction that all movements of the senses and the spirit should be considered worthless in matters of faith, should be avoided. He knows that in this way he can turn any faith into a lifeless formality, exclude the power of God and everything spiritual.”
Edwards continues: “Just as there is no true faith where the feelings alone rule, so there is no true faith where the movements of the feelings are completely absent. If we truly understand the greatness of biblical events, they will certainly touch our hearts. Condemnation of any feeling leads more and more to cruelty.”
How we are tempted
It’s hard to believe, but almost everyone begins their Christian life with ardent love for Jesus, with fatigue for Him. Over time, many of us lose this first love. This would not have happened if our theology had not taught us that the life of a Christian without such love for Christ is normal.
When I repented at the age of seventeen, I had no experience in faith. I fell in love with Jesus instantly. I absorbed His Word, talked to Him constantly, and testified about Him to my friends.
After about a year, this feeling for Christ began to weaken. I don’t know exactly how or why, but something has changed decisively. The love I felt for Christ slowly but surely spread to my congregation. I loved my church and we were all proud of it together. I had to understand more and more why not all true Christians wanted to belong to the same kind of communities.
I don’t think the problem was that I loved my community too much. I just didn’t love Christ enough compared to the community. Temptation of this kind comes gradually and so secretly that we, before we have time to expose it, are already entangled in it. I finally recognized my guilt of putting the community before Christ, and the original feeling of love for Him returned.
And again, in my desire to nurture love for Christ, I succumbed to temptation. During my studies, an insatiable thirst for studying the Word of God appeared. As a theologian, I ended up loving the Bible more than its Author. I’ve been in this trap for longer than I care to admit.
Inconspicuously for myself, I considered the study of the Bible and its knowledge to be the essence of the Christian life. It took a long time for me to understand: knowing the Bible is not the same as knowing God, loving it is not the same as loving God, reading the Bible is not the same as listening to God. The Pharisees knew, loved and read the Bible, but they did not know, did not love and did not listen to God. One day Jesus said to them: “The Father who sent me has testified about me. And you have never heard His voice, nor seen His face; and you do not have His Word that is in you, because you do not believe Him whom He sent. Search the Scriptures, for through them you think you have eternal life” (Jn. 5:37-39).
These people spent many hours every day studying the scriptures, yet the Son of God said of them that they had never yet heard the voice of the Father. You can read the Bible every day and never hear the voice of God.
So I preached a lot that it is important to do as the Bible teaches, and not only to know this teaching. I invested all my strength and almost all my time in the correct understanding of orthodox theology instead of seeking the Son of God, to be like Him. I had no idea how deep I was in this deception.
Some are tempted by putting spiritual gifts above the Lord Jesus. This seems to have happened in Corinth. Others are tempted by an excess of feeling. They try to reach a certain level of feeling instead of reaching for Jesus, and get easily overexcited.
There is an even more insidious temptation. The form of worship in the church has changed a lot. Instead of singing two or three church hymns to set the mood, many congregations begin with a long praise and thanksgiving. In my opinion, there is a lot of good in this, but even they are tempted by many. Some worship worship more than Jesus Himself.
I have even met people who put the Christian lifestyle ahead of Christ. I have met members of communities and even students of theology who have turned to a certain way of life and not to Jesus Christ. They love the Christian life – fellowship, church attendance, meetings, fundraising for good causes, inspiration from the Bible and even prayer. All this can be done without ever thanking Jesus Christ for redeeming us. What I mean by this is that you can put almost anything good above Jesus without knowing what you are doing. The Bible and commandments, gifts of the Spirit, forms of praise, testimony, caring for the poor… We must not equate Jesus with any good works. Jesus is not a dogma, not a theological theory, not an abstract principle, not a ministry, not a special community, not a denomination, not an activity, not even a way of life. Jesus is a person, a real person. And He demands that we put Him above all these good works. None of them died for us; the Son of God died for us. None of them determine our destiny. The Son of God rules our lives. Whenever I give more attention to any of the good works than the Son of God, or desire them more than Him, it becomes an idol to me and leads me away from Christ. We will hasten to love these good works more than Jesus. We so easily confuse our giving to Christ with our giving to one of these good works.
More than anything else, we must guard and cherish our ardent love for God, or we will lose it. I notice that when I put good deeds first, they take up a lot of time and limit my personal relationship with God. The main thing in life is love for God, and then for His children (Mt. 22:36-40).
Hot love
As mentioned, we are constantly faced with the attempts of theologians and popular preachers to reduce love primarily to the fulfillment of duty, depriving this word of its emotional meaning. Love for God, devoid of emotionality, is invented, a product of the minds of modern teachers. This is not a biblical understanding of love at all.
The concept of “love” includes a wide range of feelings proportional to the love of God. I mean such feelings as admiration, desire, zeal, attachment, thirst, hunger, and so on. All these feelings are characteristic of a person deeply in love.
It is my great desire that these feelings be characteristic of my attitude toward Jesus. Of course I want to be obedient, but let my obedience come from my love for Him. I want to be obedient to Jesus not for discipline or a sense of duty, not for fear of punishment or for reward. I want to be obedient to Him only out of love and desire to please Him whom I love so much. If only discipline drives us to seek Jesus, we will eventually give up the search.
Is this goal real or just a dream? I have heard sermons that at the beginning of one’s relationship with God it is normal to feel love, and after a relatively short time it is normal to replace this love with a sense of duty and discipline. I have even heard from some teachers that the loss of emotionality is supposedly a sign of maturity. I think the Bible tells us quite the opposite. If we have lost love, what can we do to find it again?
There are three crucial steps in gaining love for Jesus.
At the feet of Jesus
We all know it’s impossible to love someone you don’t know. But Jesus can be known, and the more often we sit at Christ’s feet, the better we know Him. And the better we know Him, the more we will love. Mary can be an example for us.
Schedule a regular time for Bible reading and prayer. But it is impossible to allow this reading to become something mechanical, ritualistic. Let’s remember that you can read the Bible like the Pharisees who never heard the voice of God. By regularly reading the Bible and during prayer, we will remember that we are meeting with a real Person. This Person speaks, guides, encourages and points out sins. God is angry and forgiving. We bring Him care or joy. All this is what the Bible says about God, to whom we turn in prayer.
We should not think that we automatically enter the presence of God just because we can read. Mechanical reading of the Bible or ritual prayer does not contribute to this either. The psalmist asked God: “Open my eyes, and I will see the wonders of your law” (Ps. 118:18). He knew that unless the presence of God illuminated the Word, he would not see miracles. Therefore, ask for the presence of God, do not take this presence for granted. Approach His Word with a burning desire to meet the Person and have a conversation with Him. Let your ears be alert while you pray or meditate.
We have known all this for a long time. We have been taught this since the time of repentance. The problem is not that we don’t know, but that we don’t do it. When I was a pastor, one of my most important teachings was for people to read the Bible and pray. And most often in soul-stirring conversations, I was told that they did not read the Scriptures and did not pray. And most of the preachers and community members I have met around the world do not know how to read the Bible regularly and pray more.
All the Christians with whom I have spoken in my life believe that the Word and prayer are important, they even have a desire to find time every day to communicate with the Lord, but they simply do not do it. Most often, this does not happen because a person does not consciously want it. But it is more likely that he does not come to meet God because of a simple mistake in planning: the time for God is simply not foreseen. People are prone to the illusion that they will always find time to pray and meditate on the Scriptures. This is one of the devil’s most successful tricks.
If you have a wide knowledge of the Bible, but are not in the constant presence of God, your pride, capable of hurting others, only increases. Even if you have received special gifts of the Spirit, you can cause trouble in the community if you do not live in His presence. If we do not seek the presence of God, our love for the Son of God will not grow, and eventually we will become unfit for service. If we constantly seek God’s presence, expecting to meet a Person, then this Person will not disappoint us.
The power of blood
There is another way to strengthen love for the Lord Jesus. In every human relationship, barriers sometimes arise due to misunderstandings, sometimes injustice or wrongdoing. Similarity occurs in our relationship with God. Every time we sin, a wall grows between Him and us. Sin can prevent us from communicating with God. This is also in our human relationships. If we offend someone we love, we will not be able to enjoy our relationship with them until the misunderstanding is resolved.
Only the suffering and death of His Son can remove the barrier of alienation between Him and us: sin is removed from us, because we have repented of this sin and trusted in the power of the Blood of Jesus Christ, by which sin is forgiven and we are cleansed.
This is also one of those truths that were proven to us from repentance. But I know many Christians who languish under the weight of sin. The matter appears as if they live under condemnation, and not in the freedom of the redeemed by Christ. Many have told me that even though they confessed their sin, they lacked the confidence to be forgiven. In a few words, to repent of sin is not enough; we must deeply believe that by the power of the blood of Jesus we are forgiven. On our own, we will never become holy and disciplined enough to find access to God and receive forgiveness; it is accomplished for us by the death and resurrection of Jesus. Our good deeds, our new, changed life, our best intentions cannot remove the burden of sin from us.
His driving
If we want to love the Son of God with a real passionate love, we definitely need something else. All my Christian life I have made the same mistake over and over again. Through discipline, good intentions, knowledge of the Bible, I tried to cultivate love for God. But in doing so, I found myself falling into the webs of legalism and self-righteousness each time.
Somehow God put an end to all this. A close friend of mine told me that he never recovered from the shock of God’s words: “If your life as a Christian is ever to be successful, it will not be because you are good at thinking, but because My Son is good at driving. Trust His guidance, not your compliance.” This divine revelation touched my heart. I understood why legalism and self-righteousness had so easily taken root in my life.
Just please don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that we do not need discipline, knowledge of the Bible, godly behavior – all these are necessary for us. I mean our attitude, our belief. We must do the right thing, but we must not rely on our own abilities and powers. Our heart is so easily tempted (Jer. 17:9), our feet so easily stray from the right path (Rom. 3:10-18). If we know this, how can we believe that we can follow Jesus without His help?!
I have come to the conclusion that if I ever have ardent love for the Son of God, it will not be because I deserve it, but because He Himself will give it to me as the highest and most precious gift. Apostle Jacob says: “You want, and you don’t have…you don’t have, because you don’t ask.” God can give the greatest gifts, we should ask for them. I want to encourage you to pay more attention to the request for love for the Son of God than to any other prayer request.
That prayer awakened in me more love for Jesus than anything I have ever done. I made the last verse of the 17th chapter of the Gospel of John my purely personal request: “I have revealed your name to them and will reveal, the love with which you loved me, they will have, and I in them.”
Jesus says that he revealed the name of the Father to the disciples, that is, he showed them what the Father is like. Jesus did this because he wanted the disciples to love him as the Heavenly Father loves the Son. He wanted the love that the Father feels for the Son to be in His disciples.
I have often read this poem without understanding its meaning. When I finally understood, I could hardly believe it. How could I love Jesus as God the Father loves his own Son? Of course, no one can love with the same power with which God loves. But, on the other hand, no one can be holy like God. However, God tells us: “Be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy” (Lev. 19:2). By the power of the Holy Spirit within us, we can be holy in our walk of life. By the same power we can live, fervently loving the Lord Christ.
I reformulated these words from the Gospel of John into a personal prayer: “Father, grant me by Your Holy Spirit to love Your Son as You have loved Him.”
I say this prayer in the morning when I get up; I say it during the day, when my spirit calms down between daily tasks, and in the evening, before going to bed. This prayer captured my heart. When I say it, I confess before God that without the action of God through the Holy Spirit, I will never be able to love the Son of God with this hot, unquenchable love. I confess before Him that my godliness, my discipline, my knowledge of the Scriptures are insufficient to love the Son of God with all my heart. I may begin to think differently, but only the Holy Spirit can change my heart. Divine love can only be given by God Himself. If you pray from the bottom of your heart, love for the Son of God will permeate your soul. It can take months, even years, before you notice a noticeable difference. Most likely, you will never be able to say exactly what day and hour the fervent love for Jesus completely took hold of you. But others will see it. They will say that you have changed, that you have become different. They will tell you that they notice a friendliness and tenderness in you that was not there before. There will be something in your love for the Son of God that was not there before.
Do not be passive when it comes to passionate love for the Son of God. Make her the center of your life. Fix your eyes on the Son of God, keep your eyes on Him, and you will find yourself becoming like Him.
Source: www.imbf.org
