Author: Serhiy Tomash
“Fear not, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, and help you, and uphold you with the right hand of My righteousness” (Is. 41:10)
“I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20)
Sometimes when I wake up I don’t feel God. God used to be very real in my life, but now He seems to have disappeared somewhere. People often bitterly testify that they do not feel the presence of God, which, in turn, causes sadness and confusion. For some, this condition often leads to depression. But has God disappeared? Has He forsaken us? As children of God, we understand with our minds that God could not leave us. So why is God so real to some when I don’t feel Him?
We need to learn to enjoy this “silence” or “fog”. Often God takes away all our feelings so that we live not by feelings, but by faith. And God calls us to live not by feelings, but by faith. The truths of the Scriptures show that God is always with His beloved children, that He never leaves them. Even when we don’t feel Him, we don’t need to pray for Him to be with us. We don’t need to start a brutal introspection in search of sin. We don’t need to be ashamed. All we need is to turn to God, whose presence we do not feel now, with the words: “Lord, I am grateful that You are now and always with me, although I often do not feel it.” These words will be enough. Learn to enjoy the quiet life of faith. Often when you approach the stairs that lead to God, when you take the first step, you suddenly realize that God is standing right there, right next to you.
God’s presence is not something we have to achieve, God’s presence is something we already have, something we just have to acknowledge. “Whether I walk or rest – You surround me, and all my ways are known to You. There is not a word in my language yet, – You, Lord, already know it completely. From behind and in front, You will embrace me, and put Your hand on me. Your guidance is strange to me, – high, I cannot grasp it! Where should I sing it! shall I ascend to heaven, shall I descend to hell, shall I take the wings of the stars and there I will move to the edge of the sea, and Your hand will hold me. You, and the night is light as day: as darkness and light” (Ps. 138:3-12).
